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for some reason right now the things that should affect me in such a, damn, that is sad, way just aren't. like i'm listening to pandora and 1963 comes on and it's saying "i feel like i'm loving you in 1963", and this is a song that really struck me when i was first getting to know antonia, and i shared it with her, and we sang to it, and although i know i should feel sad knowing that it's over, i don't. maybe i'm in some sort of denial that it's actually over. because it all was so happy, why wouldn't she want happy? but i dunno, she's looking for something, and maybe that something isn't here. that i have no control over. i thought her happy was here. she thought her happy was here. maybe we were both wrong. but i also think that she has no sense of losing this relationship since it ended where she is so far away and isn't here and doesn't have to deal with it. i know she'll go through some of the same things i'm going through when she gets back. the memories of places and songs and happy. i just don't know where i'll be when she gets there. so i'm guessing that when people say that a lot of the success of a relationship depends on timing they must be right. |
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