sometimes
2009-06-15 too bad

we've been having a lot of fun. it almost seems like we're in a different part of our relationship. like the middle. or the continuation and not the end. i wish that was the case. i don't feel like i'm letting go i feel like i'm getting more and more involved. and we're spending some time with her family and that dynamic is getting so much easier. fitting that it should be easy right at the end. i'm jealous of people that have figured out their relationship life. because mine certainly is a mess right now. it's up and down. and calm and easy on the surface and there is a deep love and connection there but there is turmoil not too far underneath. and the hardest thing for me is not even attempting to really work it out because what is the point with her leaving so soon? we spent some really great time with her friends in madison and i kept thinking, how is it that these guys can get it together and we can't. and their relationship kind of parallels ours in a lot of ways. it has some similarities. except both erica and mikey are happy to commit to each other, and only one of the two of us (me and toni) is really ready to commit. it's just too bad.

back & forth
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recently...

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