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when your daughter says to you, mom, i want you to start inviting liora to more things, that's how you would end up seeing more of me, the response is not, i'm not ready for that. i am really mad about that and really hurt. i want to talk to her mom and say listen, toni and i have enough challenges and struggles in our relationship and you don't have to be one of them. i make your daughter happy, she wants to be in this relationship, please support us. please let her go a little. i understand that you want an individual and one on one relationship with your daughter but letting go and letting me in does not have to mean losing that. it will change things a little, yep. and you may have to look to other people and other places for some of your support. and then when the daughter hears that response, the solution is not, ok mom, i understand, and then bend to her needs and wants again by agreeing to spend this and this time with her like some sort of arrangement. i'm not the bad guy. i feel like i'm put in this bad guy situation where i'm asking this crazy stuff, to see my girlfriend and have some space and freedom and flexibility. and i don't want to fight this battle. this is not a battle that i can or want to win. this is something they need to work out. and i'm backing off, but this dynamic makes me feel like walking away, you win. i will walk away, and you can spend all your free time with your daughter who is moping over her relationship that didn't work out. is that what you want? let her go. please. |
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