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my world is a lot quieter without toni in it. i noticed that before when she was in el salvador but she filled the space with emails and phone calls. i mean, she didn't fill it in the same way. but it wasn't this quiet. i notice that i'm still holding on to the hope that this might go a different way. like maybe in a month, she'll have more figured out. about where she wants to be. about what direction her life is going. about what she wants. but i know that she won't have it all figured out that quickly. but i know that i have to take this time for me. maybe in a month i'll feel differently about this. maybe i won't be holding on as much. so, every urge i have that says, call her, contact her, this can be different, i tell myself, no, this time is for me. this isn't about what she wants. so this time is for me. i just really am not a huge fan of the empty quiet spaces that she left. |
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