sometimes even when i'm with people

sometimes even when i'm with people i love

i don't know if it's because i'm restless

or because i'm bored

or if i'm not getting what i need

sometimes i just need someone to listen

but maybe i'm asking the wrong person to listen

maybe she loves me too much to listen

maybe she's too involved to listen

maybe she's saying in her head why don't you talk to someone else, i don't want to hear this right now, i have other things to do, i have other people i have to talk to, i have other places i'd rather be

i worry about that

i'm usually even keeled

i may be mourning the end of the semester

when i felt productive

everyone wanted the semester to end, but not me, because i felt like i was doing something productive

now what am i doing? i'm not doing much, and even the part of my life that is supposed to be the place i go to when every thing else feels shaky is feeling a little shaky

i heard a lot of i'm going to do this i'm going to do that over the weekend not a lot of we are going to do this or that and when it was we it wasn't including me, i thought i was part of a we, and when i try to tell her, i'm not sure she hears me, because i heard it again about this coming weekend, i'm going to meet my parents and then i'm going to show them around, and then i ask about it, and she reassures me, no, i mean of course you're invited, but i start to feel like what i felt before, which is an afterthought, i don't think i ever made her feel like an afterthought

so i wonder what's going on

and why is it just me that's worried

am i creating things to worry about?