how come sometimes i can spend hours with you and not really feel like i saw you at all? i think we have different versions of what is important. i need to have meaningful time so i can spend the rest of my time doing my work and being productive. otherwise i could spend every minute with you doing nothing. but i have work to do. i have to put a lot into my work. it's not something that i can do with half of myself. and the work i do here needs to take me into the next stage of my work. it's never ending from here on in. in my ideal world this is what i want to be doing with myself. this is the work i want to do, and that is why it is very important to me. and i want to share the pleasure and excitement that i get from this work with you.